alkon and his bean bag chair


Feb 15, 2020
so on thursday when i was walking home from the park listening to katy perry on my mp3 player, all of the sudden i hear the bushes rustle. im like damn wtf homie so i stop like im scout and then check my surroundings, making sure i dont cause any harsh sound vibrations. the bushes keep rustling, but i feel someones presence. now im stopped dead in my tracks, and the steps get more distant. i follow in the direction i hear them, but cant see the cause of the steps. now in the trees of the park, im pushing debris out of my way to find the rustles. branches are hitting me in the face and i'm already getting itchy, but its just now getting fun. in the distance i can see the trees end, and i see a twig break ahead. running now, a antelope licks my balls and im reaching a corn maze. in the corn maze, i find a trapdoor.

the trapdoors framework was dusty but the door itself wasnt, suggesting that it had been used recently. i open the trapdoor with ease and caution, but i hear clatter and talking. i hear a grown foreign man screaming "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK FREEKILLER FUCK YOU." now, with my hands on my hips and my heart heavy, i open the first thing i see and it was a chiffarobe. i find a chastity belt tucked on top of it. i examine it, carefully reading its label. "alkon's nut squisher that i use with ma sister" and the thought comes to my head- alkon.. that sounds familiar. i check my email, and as it turns out 3 hours prior a man named sent me an email containing drug dealing offers and other illegal endeavors.

suddenly, with my balls in my mouth and my teeth in my testes, a big bald burly boi with a slim jim wrapper hanging out of his pocket approaches me. he looks like a minotaur had three autistic children with justin timberlake, so i quite down and let the alpha male assert his dominance all over my body. true story

thanks for reading
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Community Manager
Jan 2, 2020
Can i suggest you never write a short story again?


Quality Assurance
Feb 5, 2020
Montreal, QC
where does the bean bag chair come in to play
i was expecting a bean bag chair
where is the bean bag chair
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